" yesterday is history, tomorrow is mystery, today is blessing"  however,,, yesterday is experience, tomorrow is hope, and today is struggle.

everybody has his or her own visions of the future, I do wish that someday (insahAllah), one or two years from now,,, i;ll be a better person in every part of my life, in every position that i have;

* As a wife for my husband and a mother for my kids

i'll settle down my self on an honorable position; as a wife and also as a mother. This position will lead me to becoming a highly responsible person. with based on Quran and sunnahtullah-hadist we'll be happy and strenght family (insahAllah).

* As a child of my parents

i'll take care them as best as i can. present them happiness, though i know that the whole things that i'll have done and the whole happiness that i'll have given them can never repay even the smallest thing that theygiven to me.

(mom' ; may Allah give you His best place in jannah, Amen. RIP)

(dad' ; I love you, best wishes for you)

* As contribution to the society

i'll give the best as i can my self for humanity, i hope that i can live in my society well and keep my comminication with Allah.  i'll do my job as teacher, and if Allah willing me i want visit all my friends (insahAllah)

* And most of all ; as a servant of the universe, God Almighty "Allah"

it is not for one or two year's vision, but it is my entire life's vision (forever and ever)

and i want to love everything because of Allah.

I believe that all of "Qadr" (destiny/future) is in Allah's hand. Regardless of challenges that i will face. Human can only plan- whereas Allah is the judge and decision-maker.

But i believe that Allah always gives us many ways to cope with things. Finally ; i hope only to Allah the Highest praise only to Allah. (bless, wish, and willing me) Amen.

wish and pray for me guys :P :D :) Bismillah,,, *cheer, ganbatte, spirit* :)))

Have you ever thought that people do not like you? But it could be worse when you couldn't love your self. What people said really meant a lot to me. Indeed, it was so important to that, i often ignore my own feelings,

My feeling was such a monster to me. Anxiety and fear haunted me and upset me. I felt that i could never did somthing right - somthing that would make other like me. yea , that silly idea! I was lost in my guilty feeling. I felt so useless!

Sometimes, I could feel something mad inside me. It was screaming and strugling to get free from the tigh and dark spirit's prison. Deep down my in heart... And it became harder and harder everyday. im trapped in very difficult time! I asked my self why but could not find the answer?! I wish invisible....

Sudenly... i found something! a real islam... It did not cross my mind to find the solution of my problem in islam. Muslim is the best mankind. We have a great pride in the God's side. As a muslims, we should not be weak. we should be proud, strong and tought.

It was like waking up from a nightmare. I feel better after knowing that. I know... it took time and needed a proccess before I finally walked as far as this.

Maybe im not pretty, sexy, rich, or popular ... But i have so many thing that they probably doesn't have. and yea, only a jerk would judge someone based on someone's physical appearance!

from now, I will learn how to love my self just the way I am. I know it's not going to be easy because i dont really like myself. Then how come others could like me while  i couldn't?

I think im not supposed to worry anymore, I have to be my own self without feeling guilty... I can feel free, peaceful, and happy... Because im good and God blessed me the day I was born by giving me my Muslim identity. My biggest mistake was letting other control how i felt and tought. I forgot that im the greatest gift of God. I should thanks Allah by accepting and loving His gift what ever it is. Because Allah gives us a life without cursing, then why can't we accepting it without complaining ?

well, u know how i felt! it was like falling in a deep and dark hole. It putted me in the midlle of nowhere. Thanks Allah im free now..... LOVE me... just the way I am...

i'm realized, because i have faith. Do you know what it is? you're right, it's because of the spirit of Islam {Allah). We believe that our life is only a place to earn the provosions to reach the next enternal life. The kind of life that offers either enerternal pleasure or misery.

Allah is fair...

if He wants, in a fraction of a second He can give us all we want. its easy for Him. How ever, He appreciates our efforts, our struggles, it is not the same, the patient, people, and the empaty ones.

Heaven is very expensive, its costs much and desperate persons would never enter it.

I understand we received much of Allah worthy gifts, most of us realize it only after we lose it.

One thing for sure, im so happy now because Allah still gives me the chance to pray, smile, share... im sorry Allah, as a muslim figthers I should be grow up and be strong... ah, JINSEI WE UTSUKUSHII... :)))

previously...

Nani shiteru?... Kore?

Doushite? kokoni ita kuinai no?...

Chigau! kokoni iru koto ga suki. Demo, kore o mou ii ...

yame tai

wakaranaika? :'(

Sorewa chigau! Hontou...? Jya, watashini wa, nanno imi...? "d" Dame!! dame! kaere!

Gomen... Kami-Sama (Allah) :'( Zutfo sobani ite...

Hhh... Cho`, mecha-2, mecha... tsumannasasso~ Genki dashite "d" ... Ganbatte!!!