Journals
Saturday,Feb 28 2009, 02:15:03 AMTime 4 Apology!
i write this in earnest in the Name of Allah, The Greatest
Many a time i have made mistakes, Maybe i forgot to give and take. I ask for everyone's forgiveness if i have ever caused unpleasantness.
E-mails and letters i forgot to reply, Agreements which i did not compy. Promises which are not operational, An unkind word which was unintentional.
Please make halal whatever i take from you, Whether it's time or space in your in-box too. There are time swhen i forgot There are also time times when i regret.
You know, we are all human beings, Prone to many misunderstandings. Put the past behind us, can u see If you want life full of tranquility.
Life is short and full of unpredictness, Hence i wish to ask for your forgiveness. Times to forgive others since it is a virtue If you want Allah to forgive you too...
im sorry...
Monday,Feb 2 2009, 02:52:26 AMThe Crystal Ball
"Crash!"
A clear crystal ball hit my forehead. It was broken in to pieces and scattered on the floor. It hurt...
"Crash!"
Another crystal ball fell upon my chest this time. It was just a clear crystal ball with empty space inside it. I Felt pain... I confusedly asked to my self what happened here?
"Hey, where am i ?" there was no one here. the space around me where white and the room had no end; It frightened me, where was I ?
"Crash!"
Again! A clear crystal ball hit my cheek and bruised it. grrr... and scared! hwo threw the ball? no one here? "Crash!" this time the ball hit my knee... what the hell are you doing?! stop throwing the ball ?!
"its empty, Look! the ball is empty. All the ball are empty." that voice suprised me. no one here, it frightened. my heart beat faster. "what do you mean?" i was completely confused. "they are empty. the crystal balls that you always take five times a day empty."
"The crystal balls were you prayers. you always do it five times a day as an obligation." My prayer?" how come? "Yes. every muslim gots a crystal ball for a prayer that he does, inside it, there should be a light as proof that he is khusuk when he does his prayer. and your crystal balls are empty!" so, im always not khusuk when performing my prayer!" I was completely surprised. I could not speak at all. I was not khusuk?"
"Do you understand! "Crash!" "Crash!" "Crash!"... Many crystal balls hit my body from all direction. "God... what's happening? God... Help! I cried and cried...
The rain of crystal balls stopped coming. It still white, completely white, bt i saw the blood, my blood! "God please let me go back to real world. I promise that i will be khusuk in perfoming my prayers."
Sudenly, the crystal ball fractions started moving. They joined together forming a very huge crystal ball. It flew away and... it was moving toward me! "Noooo...!!" "Help! Help!" The ball came to me and closer and closer. I felt tired and it was difficult to breath. But the ball kept moving and... "Thud!"
Thanks God it was just a dream. I had fallen a sleep when i perfomed my sujud of my night prayer. God, was it true that I was never khusuk when perfoming my prayer? I was angry to my self. suddenly tears wet my eyes.
I heard adzan voiced beautifully from the mosque. it was time for morning prayer!
God, please give the Strength to be khusuk doing my prayer... Amen.
